Friday 24 January 2014

Looking back to when I was first diagnosed..

it's now been nearly 4 years since I was first diagnosed with Scoliosis and 3 years since I was diagnosed with Scheuermanns Kyphosis. Alot of emotions went through my mind when I first was diagnosed with scoliosis, I felt very angry, confused, upset and most importantly I felt like I was no longer a normal teenager. Within seconds of the orthopaedic consultant telling me,my brother and mom I had scoliosis my life suddenly  changed, to be honest I didn't want to except that I had scoliosis becausethen it would be admitting I was different, different from everyone else in my year. I was only 14 years old atthat age you dont want to a little but different from everyone else I always thought everyone's spine was straight but now I had to face the fact that mine wasn't it was curved.
I was too ashamed, too afraid to tell anyone at school about my back other than my best friend becky and my sister as I knew they wouldn't judge me and treat me any differently to any other person.Even when it came to our year 11 prom I still self conious about my appreance I didn't want others seeing my back, they saw it through my school uniform and made horrible comments I didn't want the other kids seeing my back in its full ugliness because to me that is what it was ugly and disgusting. I spent ages looking for a prom dress that would hide my back or at least do up when I put it on, in the end after a lot of tears the lady said she would alter it so it would fit over my back, I dreaded the next fitting for my dress 'what happens if my backs got worse?' I kept thinking,  I had every right to be worried because my back did get more deformed. We went a futher dress fitting 2 weeks before my prom and again my curves progressed. I felt so angry with the way I looked, why couldn't I have a normal spine like the rest? 
It had taken me along time to accept my deformed, ugly, big rib hump on my back, very wonky shoulders and my right hip that stuck out a mile.In fact still to this day I look at clothes and still think It won't be able to get over my hump even though it is no longer there or that I am going to look wonky. I think unless you at least try to understand about scoliosis and what the person is going through you won't know how much of an impact the condition, nasty words and even the persons physical appearances it has on them wether it be a short while or life. We will always have to live with it and we will have to live with affects, pain it may cause.
Scoliosis is more than just a spinal deformity, it affects 3 out of every 100 people and it has an effect and impact on how the person who is suffering from it sees them self and the way they feel which not many people that don't have scoliosis are aware off.
I have added pictures of my second ever xrays which were taken in 2010 before being referred to ROH.
Kirsty xxxxx


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