68weeks(16months) post 1st op and 38weeks(9months) post 2nd op-

Wow well I cannot believe around a year ago I started writing this blog! I did not expect the reaction I have gotten off it all , to be honest, I started this blog of too have a place where I could express my feelings and thoughts about my back and life. is so nice to have people that have actually benefitted from me writing about my journey! so thankyou to you all:)
So to kick off last week was a little bit of a shocker, my sister had a phone call from the hospital to say her operation on her Scheuermanns will be in early January 2015 (7th or the 8th) she is terrified but her back is hurting her more and more so she knows its going to be worth it. She has another pre-op date, which is on the 10th of December, she is still needle phobic so we will see how it all plan outs haha!

well to start this week off I saw my cpn, she is impressed so far with what im doing and I have to carry on doing what im doing, im still waiting for my appointment to see a dietician but she is now sending a referral for talking therapy (CBT!) I don't really like talking to people especially people I don't know so I really don't know how this is going to work, I see her again in like 2 weeks, she is trying to stop it from getting any worse. but she can only do so much on her own.
on Tuesday I saw my GP again, I think she likes to keep a close on everything. My ECG I had last week came back good which was good to hear! on the down side she weighed me and ive lost more weight! im now 42kg so ive lost around 1kg/1.5kg in 2/3weeks! she didn't seem very happy at all so she is chasing up my referral for the dietician. My cpn has also requested medication AGAIN! so even though my gp didn't really want to, ive now started citalopram 10mg, I have to take it at night so the side effects are less, my GP or anyone doesn't know how its going to react to my body, well so far I feel so sick, have a head ache and im constantly tired! I am also having to have to have my blood test retaken (perfect!) just so she can keep an eye on it I guess. Ugh I hate blood tests.

here os a photo of my scars I took the other day, its looking so nice and faint!, I mean you can barely see it, which is a shame for me as I love it! it shows what I've been through and how far I've come. this past few days though ive been having bad pain in my lower back, its feels like a lot of pressure is there, im hoping it will go on its own.
Kirsty:) xxxxx

66weeks (15months) post 1st op and 36weeks (8months) post 2nd op-

Well I know this hasn't got a lot to do with my back but in ways in kind of does... I went to see my CPN last Monday and she said I'm doing ok with my food diary and at least I'm trying with it, she wants me to carry on doing my food diary but now adding how I feel etc and if it's a bad day (not a lot of food) she has given me too other sheets of paper to fill in, i find it really hard to express my emotions, even writing them down, some parts of me thinks if people know how I feel they will get into all my business which is something I do not want. I am also allowed to weight myself only once every 3 weeks mind ou but I guess that's ok, I have been given some stuff to read on anorexia
And anxiety so I have Ben having a look through them, she said all the stuff I'm doing at hope (food diary, thoughts and everything) are so she can get more of an understanding so she can reffer me on to secondary care.
Also this week I have seen my GP, I seem to be seeing her every few weeks. I have been asking her about anti depressants again as my anxiety is quite bad but she is adamant that I am not taking them, she keeps saying that there will be too many side affects with my weight and build which is frustrating. She even came out with that they have in the past gave children antidepressants so I just don't get why I cannot have any then? My CPN really wants me to take them as she feels I'll benefit from them a lot.

Nothing really has happened with my back over the last couple ot weeks, I havent been up to much but my shoulder blade is hurting a lot still:/ i really honestly don't know what to do. I just hope physio and everything would hurry up so I can see if they help! I also really hope the next time I see mr mehta I came rise my horse and everything again, I am really missing it ALOT, my horse isn't young now and he seems to be aging very quickly, he has athritis in all 4 legs which isn't good at at all!
Kirsty xxxx

64 weeks(15months) post 1st op and 34weeks post2nd op-

well where do I begin? I saw Mr Mehta on Monday so I explained to him about everything that's going on and the pains I was getting the outcome of it all really is a mixture. I am having this injection thing in where my ribcage is because of pain, I am not looking forward to it one bit I hate needles, I'm super needle phobic so I really don't know how this will plan out, I was hoping there was something else that could have been done like the registrar said the last time we went but there isn't. Apparently rib resection is mainly used for people with scoliosis and the part that us deformed is one of the main ribs. I honestly don't know if I'm upset about this, of course I am really, it's lumpy and vile, I'm 19 and I cannot even wear a bra properly because of he pain and awkwardness of it., my ribcage sticks out a lot to me and it bothers me, ok I know I wouldn't have been 100% perfect but I wasn't expecting this before my operation at all. I hate kyphoisis a lot of the times, especially times like this. I don't like to be negative, I really don't but to Me it's quite embarrassing, not being able to wear a bra for more than an hour with it hurting and bothering a lot, even then I can't have anything with wire or anything like that, oh no. I am so thankful for my fusion and I love my new back it just seems to be only me that's having some type of problems.
I am also starting physio again, but this time I think it's at ROH, I am still having aweird psin where max knocked me over so I hope that will help. Other than that mr m is getting my ct scan re check to see if there is a small possibility of them missing anything,

I also saw my GP on Tuesday for a check up. Well I didnt have good news from that either, I weight 45kg 2/3 weeks ago and I managed to loose 2 kg meaning I'm 43kg now, so I am going to see a dietition. My GP is also wanting to discuss weight gain drinks/ supplement stuff. The thought of putting weight on is scary, I don't want to. I mean I'm happy aren't I? I don't want to be over weight, or chubby:( I once had fat rolls, I never ever want them again! My rods and screws are starting to become prominant, we found that out when we saw mr Mehta, even he is now saying putting on weight may help. Like I've stated before I dont like letting everyone down or anything but it's really hard and I wish some people would see it'
I am seeing my CPN tomorrow, so there will be a update on that after its happened.
Kirsty xxxxxx