Thursday 5 February 2015

Mental Health Awareness day- time to talk, time to change.

So today is Mental Health Awareness day, so I guess I'll do my part and talk about my own problems dealing with anxiety.
I don't always share how I feel with my anxiety because everyday is a battle, every day I go through the same sick to my stomach feeling of worry and dread that something terrible is going to happen, I can't go even an hour with out constantly panicking about something, 'have I done this,that?, omg this isn't right, the whole day is going to go bad now'. The annoying nervousness and worry of silly things, that everyone would take for granted, like going to a shop and buying something, or goingin to a fast food place and ordering things, it makes me just want to curl in a ball and hide. I can't cope with noisey, crowded places, that are full of people, I fill up with fear and dread and I can't dal with it.
The worst thing for me is answering the phone and talking to someone, it terrifies me, I just want to go hide and I want the whole world to swallow me up, my stomach starts to churn and I feel sick, panic and get really hot. I just can't cope with the feels so I aviod using the phone and calling people.

Ive recently started a new antidepressant, fluoxetine 20mg to try and lift my mood and try and help me cope with the feelings better, I started them Tuesday and they should start working with the next few weeks, let's hope they can help this time as citalopram 10mg didn't help at all. I just had all the side affects, which wasn't pleasant to say the least.
Anxiety can make someone feel quite isolated really, as no one really can quite understand it or how someone feels, I know a lot of people say its stupid and I am over reacting but the fear,dread,feelings are real!
I'll update you on how my weeks gone in the next up coming days:)
Kirsty xxxxxx

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