Its been a long while since I posted about my mental health so I thought id update you all, Everything in recovery was going well until the past few weeks, Im at the highest weight I've been in ages and ED hates it im having so many thoughts about being 'too fat' and that I should loose more weight again. im 45kg now up from 40kg and when I reach 46.5kg the aim will be to maintain my weight. I really am starting to freak out it to be honest as when I look in the mirror I already see fat:( im still managing to eat my meal plan even though its getting harder, three meals, three snacks! it is a challenge still to this very day. I have an Appointment in the second week of January too see about getting my medication changed as I don't feel like it is working anymore and my GP cant change it, im hoping he will suggest some groups etc to help my anxiety as that is a defiant trigger for my eating disorder!