Sunday 31 May 2015

94weeks(22months) post 1st operation and 64 weeks(14months) post the 2nd-

Ive been super busy the past few weeks, so much has gone on and ive had quite a few appointments.
to start with I have been seeing the ED service every weeks to get weighed, gaining weight is so hard emotionally, mentally and physically! the past few weeks I have gained,

13th may- 0.2kg,
20th may- 0.2kg
28th may- 0.8kg!! meaning I now weigh, 42.5kg!

that weight may not seem much to some people but to me it is, its a huge, when that number came up on the scales, I wanted to just cry, it really freaked me out and got my anxiety going, its the most ive weighed in ages! what makes things worse is the bloating- my stomach is huge and it hurts!, im finding it hard to look in the mirror and see my stomach. because of my weight I have been told I cannot exercise or do anything so basically I can sit on the sofa but have to be 'mindful' of what I am doing around the house. its so hard not going back to restricting when you have something telling you that you've  gained enough and that your getting fatter and fatter with every junk food that you have to eat:(.
this is what my current meal plan looks like- there is way to much food I say!, each time I don't gain I get an increase:(-

Breakfast-2 slices of toast with biscuit spread,30g coco pops in semi skimmed milk, coffee

Snack-(250calories) A 50g chocolate bar, like a 4 finger kitcat or a yorkie, mars  bar, snicker etc.. and a cup of tea

Lunch- Ham an lettuce Sandwich, petits filous yoghurt, apple and grape snack bag AND a packet of mini ritz biscuits.

Snack- cereal bar of some sort, (nature valley honey and oats bar, nutrigrain bar or I can sometimes have a coco pops bar instead/). cup of tea/coffee

Dinner- fish or meat (useually like salmon or chicken maybe),2  potato waffles or 5 smiley faces, baked beans OR vegetables)

Dessert- Ambrosia custard pot, 50g chocolate bar, anything dessert like really

Snack- 2 slices of toast with biscuit spread/strawberry jam. (or 1 slice of toast if its too much), milky drink (coffee, tea, hot chocolate, glass of milk

I did have some good news though, on the 20th of may I had my mental health follow up and after my ed team talking with the mental health doctor it has been decided that I don't need inpatient treatment and I can be treated as an out patient, they are going to let my ed team take full charge and they'll be in the back ground in case they are needed, I will have another follow up appointment in 6months!- WOO!

Yesterday I had my EMG and nerve testing studies on my shoulder, Mr green wanted to check if my shoulder is working ok, it did hurt, the first test was like spinal cord monitoring it was kind of funny to see my fingers and arm flying about! the second test was checking my muscles and a needle had to be poked in, this one hurt a bit, my arm is quite sore today but it was expected really I see Mr green
in a few weeks for my follow up and to see what he says about the tests.

Kirsty xxxx

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