60weeks(14months) post 1st op and 30weeks(7months) post 2nd op-

Well I went to my follow up appointment with my GP and he thinks after seeing me and my blood test results (Although they are not too bad at the moment!) That i may have have Anorexia! How I can have Anorexia? I don't know as im not thin. I have weight on me but apparently not enough, being class as anorexic brings a whole load of new things, appontments, seeing more people, not to mention what my friends and other people will think, there is alot of bad stigma about anorexia, I think he suspected anorexia before I had my blood test as he kept asking about my eating habits and all.  My GP also says this is why im always cold and thinks it has a part to why my hands go a blue/purple colour all the time and why im tired.
I have been given some vitamin D tablet things to take, my Gp was constantly mentioning Anorexia can lead to osteoporosis and He is also stating this maybe the reason why im taking so long to recover from my operations, as im apparently not putting enough in my body to help my back fuse and for me to do normal day to day things.  Its kind of frustrating really, I want to be normal! Is it only me thinks im ok? I like my weight, I love my back, I hate that things are getting in my way, I want to lead a normal life, is that to hard to ask?
Anyway In order to be 'Healthy' I have to gain weight! to 50kg, in all honestly I don't want to, im happy and fine the way I am. When I see the CPN about my anxiety I have also have mention  all this as she may to a further assessment. I don't want to let anyone down by not gaining weight or anything if it going to help but I'm scared to,I don't want to get fat. :(

this was just a quick post really as I did say I would update you, ill post more as this week goes by!
Kirsty! :) xxxx

59weeks(13months) post op and 29weeks(6months) post 2nd op-

I haven't really had time to post anything in the past 2 weeks but here is what has happened. I saw my GP not last Thursday but the Thursday before as I kept going really faint, dizzy and just didn't feel right. Well after him taking my blood pressure, pulse and that, He said my blood pressure is really low and I was looking really pale and 'fragile' also kept mentioning my weight when he weighed me, Im now 42kg and I was around 49kg just before my second operation. Apart from being told I need to gain weight, he asked for a blood test to check if everything was ok, I asked f there was anything I could take for my lower back pain as it is bothering me but he said he would discuss it more when I see him next, I also have to now go see a CPN as my anxiety is getting really bad and out of control, its just everyday over the stupidest things so I have an appointment with her in early October..
Last Monday I had the blood test it was so painful and very hard to find a vein, I ended up being prodded in both my arms with the needle a good few times before anything decided to come out! I have gained a lovely bruise on both arms from that now haha! I had the results back and im apparently anaemic so im on iron tablets to help, I have to go for a follow up Appointment on Thursday not sure why though :)
Ive also been signed off doing anything for another 8weeks, I would love to be able to get on with my life without struggling like I am, I never thought I would struggle this much. Most of my friends are back to work in 3 months but here I am 2 operations, 13months on still finding things hard. I wish I could be like everyone else and just be able to just do things  and just be able to walk with out being tired, I guess life isn't just on my side right now:/
Ive been having trouble with my feet going dead and fuzzy, its happening quite a bit now, its weird I will be fine one minute and then the next they will just go. I had hoped it was just a phase and it would pass but I don't think it will.
As well as my ribcage and the area I was knocked over on, I also have noticed I am having like electric shock type feelings in my right lower back, near my hip it will come and go but its worse when I do things like attempt to muck out. im not sure why I am getting that feeling but it spreads to the side of my hips.
Well ill update you on Thursday when I see my GP!
Kirsty:) xxxxx

57weeks(13months)post 1st op and 27weeks(6months post op)-

Last week I turned 13months post op(56weeks), I had my CT scan last Monday (we dont know the results yet), the scan actually wasn't too bad it just was the waiting in the waiting room and the bus to get to hospital that hurt a lot. After my scan we went to Birmingham Children's Hospital to see my friend who has her scoliosis Surgery, She was nearly one week post op and was looking great! BCH takes the more complex scoliosis surgeries in which the patients need  PICU after the operation. A lot of patients and me are very lucky really that we only needed HDU after the operation, I mean that was bad  enough for me let alone my family. I cannot begin to think of what parents of kids that need PICU would be like.

We managed to go to Barmouth in wales on Sunday, what lovely weather we had for the trip aswell. it was great to get away for the day really, I even managed to have a walk on the beach. I was tired and sore when we got home but it was all worth the lovely day!
Lately I been feeling really faint and lightheaded, and ive nearly fainted on a few occasion's,  Also I still feel tired when I do things, I take my dog for a walk and I cant even take him far as I just get tired, I am going to see my GP tomorrow to see if she can be any help as to why it keeps happening.
here's some photo's from my trip to barmouth with my family on sunday!
Kirsty xxxx

55 weeks(12months) post op and 25 week (6months) post op!-

Well it has now been 6 months since my second operation! I am getting there I know I am, its just taking its time. I still struggle with some daily tasks like showering and sometimes getting things off the floor but I know with time it will all work out.
I went shopping last week with one of my friends and I did struggle walking around and being on the bus, I didn't actually realise how much pain I was in until I got home, I was in agony. No matter how much pain relief I took helped.
Since my Appointment last week with my surgeon I have now got a date for my CT scan, its next Monday (1st September) I really do hope it comes back clear and I can just continue with my recovery. My back is hurting a lot around where they are doing the CT scan, its go to the point where I am taking 3 or 4 paracetamol at a time, im actually only allowed to take 1 1/2 paracetamol, no matter what I do the pain is not going:(
I had what was suppose to be my last laser treatment yesterday, it went well, I was in pain due to having to go on the bus but it was ok. my back and all still seems the same, I just think it is a matter of just trying to get used to it now, the laser was actually rubbed up and down my back yesterday the other times it was just hovered over it. my back felt very rock like, hard and no feeling. Everyone I see who looks at my scars says now neat they are, which is a bonus:) I have more laser in 6 weeks then again in December, apparently it is not worth just sitting and waiting around for my Pain Management Consultant as I don't think there is much other he can do than tablets.
here's to hoping next week brings good news
Kirsty:) xxxxx

54 weeks(12months!)post first op and 24 weeks(5months) post the second op

Well this week has started with a phone call off the hospital to say that my surgeon had received the email the registrar sent him on Friday regarding me being knocked over and he wanted to see me ASAP! so we had to be at the hospital at 2pm that afternoon. I had to have xrays so the wait was ages and ages, Well the results you are probably wondering?...Everything seems okish with the metal and spine apart from the top set of hooks that are not looking right, so he has asked for a CT scan to make sure they haven't broken or moved. he said it could be a xray error but he is not certain it is. I hope it  is but if something is wrong then that adds up to why my back at the top is hurting. If it has moved or broken there is a possibility of more surgery to fix it. not what I or anyone wants really, so lets just hope its nothing! I will have the CT scan in a few weeks and he wants to see me in clinic to discuss the outcome.
My surgeon also said I still have restriction due to my spine not fusing yet..which isn't good. I was hoping when I hit a year post op I could just 'get on' with my life without having to rethink things but I guess its just going to be one of those things in life we have no control of. It has in very few places started to show a little sign of some fusing but not a lot. just have to wait for it to fully fuse and ill be a very happy bunny! while my spine is fusing there is more pressure (or something) on the 'stress points' which are above and below the fusion, so I guess that is why im not allowed to do anything other than walking on my horses and probably why I cant still do things I want.
Because of what happened I had to give Physio a miss on Wednesday, its a shame as I only get it every few weeks. but I have to wait for this CT scan to come through and then the results, Such an exciting life I lead!

Tomorrow I am going shopping with a friend, I haven't seen him since I left college so it shall be nice to have a catch up. Whilst everyone is at college,uni and in job in just sitting here still and I hate it, in some ways I still feel useless but in others I know how far I have came.
here is my xray from Mondays appointment its actually the first time ive seen my spine since I had my left rod trimmed, it looks great now, one year on and my spine is still looking nice and straight!
Kirsty xxxxx

53weeks (12months) post 1st op and 23weeks(5months) post 2nd op- Onwards and Upwards?

Well the end of last week and this week have been full of surprises, not really good ones though, they are really things I could have well done without! On Thursday or Friday I received the letter off my consultant the NRC needed for my interview and college course, wasn't what I hoping for at all, My spine hasn't either fused or fully fused so it means im not aloud to do High impact things or anything that could damage my hardware, spine or fusion. Its a massive blow as he also said he doesn't suggest them testing my fitness ability, so no fitness test! I rang the college see what to do and they have told  me not to bother turning up to the interview and apply this time next year when im more able, fit and I have the all clear. I have to admit I was so upset I read the letter as it was something I was looked forward to and trying to work toward:( I have no idea really what do to with my life now, im thinking of trying my back up plan which is in Health care, maybe a health care assistant or something? Not sure but either way I don't think I have very long to apply if I want to to it as colleges start back in September!
On The other hand On Wednesday, one of my horses knocked me over and I landed flat on my back, as I went to get up I had this nasty burning pain going up my spine and back, it hurt really bad. it still hurts now so my mom rang the hospital and they directed us to the ward where I had my operation, they got a registrar to try and sort it out, I was hoping for an xray or something but no, he got one of my old xrays and said i DONT have anything he can see that can move or break, hmm what about those 2 rods, 22screws and 4 hooks? not forgetting that bone graft! he says i most likely have just bruised it. they have forwarded a note to my consultant and he will say if he thinks i need my appointment bringing forward or if my back still hurts on Monday i have to ring them up and tell them. i hope it isn't nothing seriously or anything at all but surely we cant find out unless they see it.
Oh well i guess we cant do anything until Monday hopefully the pain subsides but i doubt it.
Kirsty xxxxx

52weeks(12months)post 1st op and 22weeks (5months) post 2nd op- 1 YEAR POST OP!!!

Omg what a year it has been! Yesterday I turned 1 year post op, I cant actually believe that this time yesterday I would have just being coming out of theatre, wow. It has been a very emotional year full of its ups, downs and a few set backs but I really didn't think I would be where I am today this time last year. I am so so so happy that I have had my Spinal fusion surgery. I feel that it is now that I can really relate and help other teens/people through there scoliosis journey, as we all know it isn't the most easiest one. I still remember my highs and lows from my stay in hospital and they will be something that stay with me forever. that very stiff, board like feeling when you are coming around from the operation, and the feeling of not wanting to move incase anything happens, then there is the weird, strange, scary feeling and fear of sitting up on the edge of the bed, it is the littlest things like that you overcome will make you feel like you can achieve anything. All the pain, limitations, worry and fear was truly worth it and I know it will be for everyone else to.  I cant wait to see what the future brings for me now, I can do things I wasn't able to because of this operation. im still struggling a bit and I know im not 100% but I feel better than 1 did before all of this.
I will be posting more about my hospital times in the days to come, but for now, here are some photos from when I was in hospital I found the other day!
Kirsty xxxx